We’ve had Kittens!!

Last wednesday My gorgeous Cat gave birth to four adorable Kittens!

Here is a photo gallery of all the cuteness.

This is her when still pregnant, They were taken about a week before the Kittens were born.

And this is the Kittens and Mum a few hours after they were born…

And a couple the next day, when Mum went for something to eat…

    

They are now 5 days old, getting really big, They are all mostly Black, but 2 have white faces (the 2 you can see in the picture.) with white bellies and white feet. One is Black with a little tuft of white underneath, and last but not least the other has a white belly, white feet and a thin white line down her face.

I think we have 3 girls and a boy. The boy is one of the 2 that has white faces, He is also noticeably bigger than the others, and noisier! I will try to get more pictures as they get older, and im sure they will give me something to write about.

LotusFlowerLily

Xoxo

On the road back to work Part 2

So I have been volunteering at a PDSA shop for 4 weeks now, Its been going really well. I have really taken to working life. And I have the opportunity now to become a Key Volunteer, where I’ll be trained to do some of the admin and become  a key holder of the store.

All this has given me the confidence to apply for a part-time paid job. I had a hunt online and came across Asda had advertised. So I sat there for ages filling in the form online. I was totally realistic, this is the first job I have applied for so the chances of hearing anything would be slim.

But hear from them I did! and only two days after I put in the application! I was asked to go to an Asda Magic group selection. There we’re 4 of us there and we had to get to know each other in pairs then tell the group about each other. We also were given a number, we couldn’t look at the number nor could we tell the others what their number was, But we had to line up in order.

But the best was when we were told to make a structure out of balloons, We made a house, to represent the family that is Asda. All of that was all very good, but I came out of there feeling slightly deflated, I felt I couldn’t really get across what I am like and what I can do. So the hope of getting through to the next stage was non-existent.

The next stage is the one-on-one interview, I still can’t actually believe it but I was successful! I got the call this afternoon and the interview is tomorrow. My youngest only started school 4 weeks ago and I am so close to being in work! Its going too well, wait for my blog post next week all about my life falling apart!

Anyway wish me luck!

lotusflowerlily

xoxo

Back to School…

Today my Son had an open afternoon at school. I thought this would be a quick look around again and an opportunity to see how they work and how well the children have settled into Junior school life…

I couldn’t have been more wrong!

We were ushered into the hall, (there was no tea or coffee!) and given a demonstration about the children’s new planners, and then shown a Powerpoint of pictures of what the children have being doing since September. Which was fab. Then we were hit with what we were going to be doing with the children.

Their current topic is ‘Our Ace Place’. So they have been looking at the local area. Our task today was to make our own house with our child, and then bring them back to the hall to place on the map of the village (we had to put ours on the edge as we live slightly out of the area) I think most of us parents were suddenly filled with dread.

So of we trot to the classroom with our own childs class, Each parent has to sit on their childs seat. And it was like I had just gone through a time machine and back 20 years. Sat there with the teacher explaining the task. Very bazaar experience. something, I decided, I would love to go back to.

Mine and my Boys house was great! And it was fabulous to see how different my Son is in school. All round it was a great idea! So here is my proud Mum moment…

It’s not much, But it’s something that we worked together to make. And after his teething problems with starting Junior school, it signals how wonderfully settled he is now. Its taken 4 years to get this boy to open up and feel comfortable, and I think we could be finally getting there. This makes me a very happy mummy.

Is there a downside to being a stay at home Mum?

I think there is…

I have been a stay at home Mum for nearly 8 years. While its been great for the children, I haven’t found it very easy. I remember being 19 and pregnant with my Son. I had this perfect dream of being a real homely Mum with 5 children, spending every day baking with them, doing arts and crafts so much we would need and art gallery to put it all up in, and spending all day frolicking in the park. Having loads of fun.

The reality turned into something very different. I got PND after having my Son and I couldn’t bare being at home. So I would go to town, A lot! If at home I would just watch TV. My house was a state most of the time. I felt like I just couldn’t keep up with what needed doing. When I got better, I started to feel good, looking after my son got easier. And I did start to do ‘fun’ things with him. But as it turned out, I actually didn’t enjoy doing these ‘fun’ things. I couldn’t bake to save my life, Arts and crafts were messy and annoying and the park was boring. But I was still enjoying being a Mum.

So I had another, All this parenting stuff must be more fun with two. The first year of having two was great, I loved watching their relationship growing. I even started a college course, which I loved so much I did 4 courses over 3 years.

It seemed so easy, Until my Daughter started to walk and talk. I slowly started to realise that being a stay at home Mum wasn’t for me, and neither was having a whole brood of children. With the constant fights I would have been mad to add another to the mix. Being a constant referee and slave wasn’t much fun. And once the children were in school and pre-school I was getting bored. But they were happy.

The last year has been I have made some big decisions, completely fed up of having no money and being bored, I decided that there will be no more babies from me, and that I will be going back to work once they are both in school. Now that time has come, I don’t think my children are coping with it.

My son has started Juniors School and my Daughter in the Infants. But they have both become totally Mummified and teary when going into school. Now I know that they have both had a big change, Their tired and it is early days still, but they have gone through big changes before and have been fine. I think its my big change that has rattled them!

Through all their changes before they have been secure in the knowledge that I am still at home, and always there for just them. But this time I wont be. I have a volunteer job a couple of days a week and going through an interview process for a paid job. They feel I’m no longer going to be at their beck and call 24 hours a day. I am becoming and happier and stronger person, but it seems that is not what they want! The meer mention of breakfast club and after school care freaks them out. I’m sure things will settle down, But right now I wish I had worked, If only to give the children some independence from me. I thought being a stay at home Mum would protect my children from feeling insecure, well it seems they will feel it eventually anyway, I have made them too dependant on me and its me that’s made them feel insecure.

 

Some very special Ladies

This is a follow on from my letter to my mother. A tribute to three women, who have all played a very special part in my life. Non of them are blood relatives but more than deserve to be. It just shows that when someone holding a vital role in your life turns their back on you, there is always those angels there just waiting to fill that role.

So here they are…

Rosalyn  

 This is my Step-mum, I moved in with Rosalyn and my dad at 15. Rosalyn was only 27,(the same age I am now). She had no children, and had only lived with my dad for 3 months.

So to have a troubled 15 year old turn up at your door late at night, for good, must be a very difficult thing to deal with. It wasn’t easy for either of us. I tested every boundary, emotion and limit. But amazingly enough, She is still there! Rosalyn is the first adult in my life to show me that not everyone leaves. No matter what I do. I the way a mother should be. Every achievement i have she will praise me, not pick a fault in it. She has all the time in the world for me.

She showed me true motherly love, something I hadnt seen since i was very young. A true Angel.

Aunty Denise 

This is Rosalyn’s sister. She is a fantastic mother of 4. And i know she was a huge source of support to Rosalyn when I was younger. But for me it’s been in the last 4 years Denise has been utterly fantastic for me.

Having Rosalyn live so far away (Oman) Denise is my first point of call for support. She has made me realise im doing ok with my children, and shows me that when things are going wrong, how to get through it. And supports me when I get upset about my Mother, Denise’s logic of being a mother has taught me a lot about myself, And again she has shown me that she is another person that is here to stay, unconditionally and at anytime.

Another Angel sent to me.

Nana 

Full credit for Rosalyn and Denise must go to their Mum, My Nana. She brought them up on her own, And made them into very special and loving people. I only knew Nana for 5 years. She very sadly passed away 7 years ago.

The 5 years I knew Nana, she was exactly that. My Nana, This woman had so much love in her heart, She had a whole ton of it for me. Treated me just as she did my cousins. I remember when i was 17 and living in away from my town. It was in really dark time in my life. But Nana sent me a letter. Nothing special, just to see how i was and to let me know things in her life. That was the single thing that starting me on the road out of the darkness.

I also remember when i had my son. She organised the whole family to meet, so they can all see her new great-grandson. It was a wonderful day.

These three Ladies are truly special, There isn’t enough words to describe them fully, In their own ways each of them have taught me different things about myself and about life. And they have well and truly filled the void left by my mother.

Sometimes blood isn’t thicker than water

On the road back to work…

In a previous post I talked about my youngest starting school, and how I will be going back to work. As September grew closer I experienced a whole roller coaster of emotions. Fear, excitement, Frustration, and a whole loads of others all with the emotions of my children both starting new schools.

I have spent the summer thinking over what I wanted to do. I still need to be around for my children in the day for a few more years yet, so that has limited what I can do. So  any office job was out of the window, I thought about all my Massage qualifications I spend three years getting. But with everyone struggling with money I have struggled to get anyone interested. So I needed a new plan.

My plan 

So I have decided on a long-term plan. I want to get into Retail Management. This is something I can work towards over a long period, whilst still being around for my children. The job market at the moment is fiercely competitive, So I knew at first I would take a long time to get my first job. I haven’t worked in 8 years, with only limited experience when I was a teenager. So I needed something that going to make me stand out from other people.

A couple of weeks ago I had a brain wave! Volunteer! I can spend time while the children at school helping in a Charity shop. Not only will it help them, it will help me have recent experience in a retail environment, but it will also give me a reference and a lot of employers are more likely to employ someone who has volunteered over someone who hasn’t.

Last week I applied for a volunteer job in a new store that opened only a week ago. I had a reply the very next day. and an interview for Tuesday earlier this week. I was completely bricking it, my wonderful Dad sent some money for me to get a killer outfit. (which weirdly helped my confidence)

The interview went really well, I was put at ease very quickly. The managers are lovely people and the shop is really nice. I was offered the position straight away, start on Monday with the opportunity to work up to being a Key Volunteer within a couple of weeks. Which will enable me to do some admin/office work and be a key holder for the store.

Our future 

This is such an exciting time for me. After being at home for a long time I had lost vision of where my life was going. A cloud has lifted and I now see a future!  My family has a buzz around us. As I work towards bigger things, it’s just going to get better.

Being a stay at home mum has been long and hard, and also a little soul destroying. But I certainly don’t regret a thing because on the flip side I have really enjoyed nurturing  and caring for my children, its been magical watching them grow, learn and change. Now is the time for our family to move forward from the baby years and onto many more fun and exciting times.

Lotusflowerlily

xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Somewhere not to take my children!